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Navigating Neediness In Relationships: From Ick to Intimacy

A particularly challenging relationship dynamic is when one partner perceives the other as excessively needy—a situation that can evoke a visceral reaction of discomfort or even disgust. But what can these feelings teach us about ourselves and our relationships? On…

Episode 1: Head vs. Heart

Have you ever felt like your partner and you were speaking different languages? You may be experiencing the head vs. heart dynamic that causes romantic partners who really care about each other to feel misunderstood and hurt. In the first…

Managing Conflict and Intimacy Through Attachment Theory

This episode of The Roadmap to Secure Love provides a comprehensive overview of how understanding attachment styles can greatly enhance relationship dynamics and personal growth. In this post, I outline the challenges faced when applying attachment theory and the significant…

Navigating Autonomy and Co-Dependency in Love

In our recent podcast episode, we dove deep into the concept of secure attachment relationships, a cornerstone of healthy, fulfilling partnerships. Understanding and cultivating secure relationship is essential for anyone looking to enhance their romantic relationships. The Essence of Secure…

Episode 4: Emotional Safety in Sex: Unlocking Deeper Intimacy

In this episode of our podcast Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and I dive deep into the concept of emotional safety in sex, a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of intimate relationships. This discussion highlights how feeling safe can enhance sexual experiences, especially…

The Secret Ingredient to a Thriving Relationship: Turning Towards

Originally posted on The Gottman Relationship Blog As I’m writing this, my wife asks “Do you want to come try this?” referring to a new meal she just made.  Do I really need to get up and try this now?…

Transforming an Anxious-Avoidant Relationship into Secure

With Dr. Stan Tatkin, we explore the intricate tapestry of secure operating relationships, a concept at the heart of his Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). Dr. Tatkin, renowned for his groundbreaking work and best-selling books, including “In Each Other’s…

Overcoming Emotional Blocks in Relationships

Understanding the attachment underpinnings of our connections can be the key to unlocking a deeper, more fulfilling relationship dynamics. The concepts of secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment are not just academic terms; they are the threads…

Insights from Frank Anderson’s Journey

Did you know that over 220 million people are affected by various types of trauma in the U.S. alone? I got the pleasure of talking about trauma with the world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Frank Anderson, MD to discuss how trauma…

February 2, 2024: AMA on Secure Relationships

In a recent interactive session on Facebook, Kimberly Castelo, a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, and I embarked on an Ask Me Anything (AMA) focused on Secure Relationships. Due to unforeseen technical hiccups, we transitioned to Zoom, which, unfortunately, led…